You Might Be An Obamunist


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You Might Be An Obamunist
03.26.09 (10:27 am)   [edit]

Do you suffer from a bad case of Obamunism? Take our simple test to find out.

You might be an Obamunist if:

  • You have tingles running up your legs when President Obama reads from a TelePrompTer.
  • You believed excessive government spending on President Bush’s watch was going to bankrupt the country (What about the deficit? Think of The Children!), but President Obama’s spending us into oblivion is actually going to save us.
  • You thought President Bush’s cabinet members were evil, (Rice, Ashcroft, Rumsfeld, etc.) but Obama’s rogue’s gallery of tax cheats and Bush holdovers is no big deal.
  • You believe President Bush’s “war on terror” was the invention of a crazed warmonger, but President Obama can continue the same activities as long as he doesn’t call it a “war on terror.”
  • The continued daily existence of Guantanamo Bay was a horror for you under Bush, but President Obama leaving it open is a snoozer.
  • You believe the bloated wastefulness of companies like AIG should be punished by putting them under the control of the bloated wastefulness of the buffoons in Congress.
  • You dislike dealing with large, inefficient, uncaring government bureaucracies like the DMV or the IRS, but hope Obama will give you “free” healthcare provided by a large, inefficient, uncaring government bureaucracy.
  • You consider yourself post-racial but have yet to come down off of your “I still can’t believe we elected the (half) black guy! Let’s celebrate by giving him whatever he wants without question!” euphoria.
  • You feel that speaking truth or asking questions is “hate” if it makes President Obama look bad.
  • You think Keith Olbermann is a professional journalist.

If you find yourself exhibiting some of these symptoms, you may be an Obamunist. Do not be alarmed, but Obamunism is a dangerous phenomenon not to be taken lightly. Symptoms are generally expensive, with taxes and costs rising in the infestation phase. During gestation an inflammation of the rhetoric may be accompanied by acute fear of capitalism. When full manifestation occurs, Obamunist agents will become agitated and highly mobile. Any irritant will be sought out and neutralized immediately. Tingling in the extremities can be expected to continue unabated even after government control is fully established.

Sadly, treatment for Obamunism is limited. The illness will generally have to run its course, with the typical length of action being four years, though there are examples lasting much longer. Administration of regular doses of truth may in some cases be useful in mitigating symptoms, but the patient may actively resist such measures. Things may simply have to get much worse before they get better.

 

Lone Star Times

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