I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you... How To Negotiate With Terrorists


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How To Negotiate With Terrorists
06.08.12 (12:18 pm)   [edit]

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of a line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker introduces himself. The terrorist kills him.

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of the line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker asks, "why did you kill my friend?" The terrorist kills him and rapes his wife.

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of the line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker says, "Stop that!" The terrorist kills him, rapes his daughter and kills his wife.

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of the line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker says, "I'll pay you $1000 if you stop attacking us." The terrorist agrees to the deal, takes the $1000, and kills him.

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of the line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker appeals to the United Nations. The United Nations says the peacemaker is at fault. The terrorist kills him.

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of the line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker now has a gun, and threatens to use it. Other peacemakers start chanting the old 60's whine, "Can't we all just get along?" The peacemaker hesitates. The terrorist kills him.

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of the line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker tries to convince his peacemaker friends that the terrorists aren't going to respond to negotiations, but they insist that if he kills the terrorist it'll just make the other terrorists mad. The peacemaker reluctantly agrees to try negotiating again. The terrorist kills him., his entire family, and his neighbor's family.

A heated debate now ensues between the peacemakers who want to be nice to the terrorists and the peacemakers who believe that there can never be peace until the terrorists are all dead. While they are debating, the terrorists kill 15 more peacemakers.

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of the line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker asks himself, "Which is more important: being liked by everyone, or protecting my family?" The terrorist pulls a knife to kill the peacemaker, but the peacemaker pulls a gun and kills the terrorist first. The United Nations condemns the peacemaker's use of unproportional force. Many of his peacemaker friends turn against him.

A peacemaker walks up to the left side of the line. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line. The peacemaker apologizes for what his friend did to the other terrorist. The terrorist kills him, his entire family and his neighbors, and threatens to destroy the city as soon as they develop a bigger weapon.

A peacemaker refuses to meet at the line because every time a peacemaker goes to the line the terrorist kills him. A terrorist walks up to the right side of the line and fires rockets into the peacemaker's town. The United Nations condemns the way the peacemaker provoked the terrorist by refusing to come to the line and meet with him.

Generations pass and not much changes until one day when the son of a peacemaker decides that the old strategy simply won't work. He walks up to the left side of the line a little early. As the terrorist approaches the right side of the line the peacemaker shoots him. Another terrorist approaches to replace the first, and the peacemaker shoots him too. This scene plays out several more times. Then a terrorist approaches carrying a white flag, but he also has weapons. The peacemaker shoots him. A terrorist next approaches with a ceasefire resolution from the U.N. The peacemaker shoots him also. A large group of terrorists approach and the peacemaker shoots them all and drops a nuclear bomb on the city they came from. The peacemaker continues killing the terrorists until the terrorists are all dead.

There is finally peace on earth and the United Nations takes the credit.

Outstanding.




 


posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 06.09.12 (1:11 am)

Yeah, I'm sure there are tons of peopke who want to be nice to terrorists.

Moron.



posted by: thoolou (reply)
post date: 06.13.12 (12:25 am)

Reply to: surrogate

You mean like this guy?

"The Obama foreign policy agenda that appeared on the White House website said: "Barack Obama supports tough and direct diplomacy with Iran without preconditions," the policy outline said. The Bush administration made direct talks between the US and Iran conditional on Iranian suspension of its uranium enrichment programme. This step breaks that conditionality, as part of a fundamental shift in diplomatic approach. The Obama agenda said the new administration will "talk to our foes and friends" and not set preconditions."

That's worked out real well...



posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 06.13.12 (12:56 am)

Reply to: thoolou

Hey, we SHOULD talk to our friends and foes. Talking does not me being nice to them. I talk to people I don't like every day, and guess what? Sometimes you avoid BIG prolems by doing so. For one thing, you try to find out what the fuck is pissing them off to be such douche bags in the first place.

And yes, it's worked out way better. I know this concept doesn't match your brilliant world view, but when you don't talk to people, you can't learn anythihg. Of course, you know it all already, so what would be the point.

You don't think that if Iran even comes close to using a nuke, the place will be glass no matter who's in charge? If not, you're truly a moron.






posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 06.13.12 (1:16 am)

Ya know, when I was in junior high, there was this asshole bully who was always picking on kids, usually it was kids who were either especially weak, or had some sort of mental and physical problems. Eventually I, who'd already fought the guy and lost - though I got in plenty of licks - and about five others of us, in response to the jerk taunting a kid with a horrid lisp into yet another crying fit - ganged up on the bully and beat the living shit out of him.

Know what? The bully learned his lesson and honest to God changed his ways. By the time we graduated from high scool, the former bully was a decent guy, and we bacame friends. But? Even according to him, it was the beat-down that made him realize that he too had vulnerabilities.

Thinking like yours will eventually lead to this country taking a shit-kicking. -Unless you figure that we'll just end the world instead of accepting the fact that we're part of this world and not any more imporatant than anyone else. Tell me, in your mind, that would be okay, wouldn't it?



posted by: thoolou (reply)
post date: 06.13.12 (8:05 pm)

Reply to: surrogate

*sigh*

Definition of allegory (For children):

1. an expressive style that uses fictional characters and events to describe some subject by suggestive resemblances; an extended metaphor

2. a short moral story (often with animal characters)

3. a visible symbol representing an abstract idea

You know, I'm beginning to think that you are merely a computer generated troll-bot. Your diatribes are formulaic to the point it appears you're using a leftist web-page talking-points generator.



posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 06.13.12 (8:24 pm)

Reply to: thoolou

It was South Lake Junior High in St. Clair Shores, Michigan in either 1968 or '69.

Alas, it's just the pure truth, but thanks for the definitions. I'm familiar with them both. Real life experiences fit neither definition, btw.




posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 06.13.12 (9:07 pm)

Reply to: thoolou

Hey, just wondering. Do you sigh and get all frustrated when someone points out that two and two are four as well? Not bacause it's so, but because you can't change it by asserting it isn't no matter what "expert" you copy and paste bullshit from that you've managed to find who happens to agree with you?



posted by: thoolou (reply)
post date: 06.14.12 (11:53 pm)

Reply to: surrogate

Only you could turn an allegory about Israel into a tirade about the sham that is AGW.

Well played.

31,487 American scientists have signed this petition,
including 9,029 with PhDs. (Anthropogenic Global Warming Hoax)

I'm sure you believe oil came from dead dinosaurs as well, right?




posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 06.15.12 (1:37 am)

Reply to: thoolou

No, I think oil comes from the oil fairy who's pissed off at you for your inability (or deliberate refusal) to reason.




posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 06.15.12 (1:40 am)

Reply to: thoolou

BTW... what the hell does this post have to do with oil? Are you over-tired from copying and pasting so much?

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